The genocide in Gaza has posed a moral dilemma for people like myself: the sensibles. As Israel carpet-bombed Gaza into oblivion, our problem was how the hell do we convince the public to support this bloodshed? Well, all I can say is thank god for CNN!
For the benefit of those who think Normal Island News is the only news outlet in existence (an easy mistake), let me explain CNN is considered one of the more sensible American news outlets because it’s not Fox News. Therefore, CNN was the perfect platform to divert your sympathies towards the only people who matter: Zionists.
CNN published one of the most moving pieces of journalism I’ve ever read, a report that will truly echo through the ages. It told the harrowing story of a brave Israeli soldier whose job it was to… crush Palestinians to death with a bulldozer. Heartbreakingly, crushing people to death later made the soldier feel sad. This proves he is the real victim of the genocide. What do you mean, I’m “doing the meme”?
While Eliran Mizrahi was on active duty, he always maintained a brave face, which included smiling on camera as he drove a gigantic child crusher. He explained he destroyed more than 5,000 homes and ran people over in their hundreds, whether they were dead or alive, but it was okay because “there are no civilians in Gaza”. He sensitively referred to the “terrorists” he crushed to death as “meat” and later told the Israeli knesset “everything squirts out”.
Mizrahi appeared in videos on social media, gloating about his war crimes, but his family would like you to know it’s unfair to talk about the incriminating evidence. It was clearly the fault of Iranian troll farms that Mizrahi posted this stuff to TikTok for clicks.
Do-gooders might argue Mizrahi was insensitive and the best approach is to pretend to care about Palestinians. Thankfully, Mizrahi softened his approach and claimed he was nice to the civilians he previously said don’t exist. He even claimed he shared food and water with them because he’s that nice. He explained he did everything he could to minimise civilians. I, for one, totally believe this story.
Ironically, referring to Palestinian civilians as “meat” must have had an impact on Mizrahi, because he later found it hard to eat meat and became a vegetarian. A starving toddler drinking from puddles in Jabalia has no idea of his torment. This is why it’s so important we show you real suffering.
We in the mainstream media don’t bother to name Palestinian victims of bombs that mysteriously fall from the sky, but we will fucking well give you the life story of any IDF soldier who feels self-pity.
Israeli soldiers are feeling so confused, some of them don’t want to be drafted for a second round of genocide. That little orphan girl who carried her injured sister for two kilometres cannot comprehend what the poor things are dealing with.
Mizrahi heartbreakingly explained only the soldiers with him in Gaza could understand what he was going through. Not the largest cohort of child amputees in human history. Not the fathers who watched their wives and children be melted in their hospital beds. Not the civilians without food, water or medicine. There are no cvilians in Gaza, remember, just meat…
No wonder this war is taking a toll on Israeli society. Israelis have been so impacted by genocide that a whopping 6% think it should stop due to “the great cost in human life.”
Poor Zionists are cowering in their warm beds in their intact houses, worried the world might be upset with them for destroying an entire country and planning to colonise it. Not even the iron dome can protect them from this level of pain.
It is at this point I must bring you to the most agonising part of this story, so please take a moment to brace yourself…
Haunted by the screams of children from the rubble of the buildings he bulldozed, Mizrahi tragically took his life. I understand he’d posted so much evidence of his war crimes on TikTok that an ICC arrest warrant was inevitable.
I’m sure you will agree this one life is worth so much more than the 42,000 Palestinians Israel has blown up and the countless more they’ve indirectly exterminated.
What makes us westerners better than Middle Eastern savages is that we respect the human lives that matter. As Sir Keir Starmer so eloquently explained, it’s wrong to mourn men like Sinwar because they kill civilians, but it’s right to mourn men like Mizrahi because they kill civilians.
We should now spend weeks focusing on this tragedy and overlook that Israel has started doing the same shit in Lebanon that it’s done in Gaza. We must, as a matter of urgency, address PTSD in the genocidal military, and we must remember that Palestinians are not entitled to PTSD. Thankfully, an IDF psychologist is on the case.
The psychologist explained he tries to “normalise” genocide by reminding Israeli soldiers about October 7th and telling them to “remember their values”. This way they feel less guilty about turning civilians into tomato puree. As you can see, Israel is learning all the right lessons here. No wonder they’ve already started doing this all over again in Lebanon.